Managing Conflict

Recently I had a conflict with a colleague. The conflict was about a conversation that was held about her recent lost due to a house fire. Her fiance was in our area discussing the situation. I came in on the discussion,ut for some reason he went home and told her that I was inquiring about her personal business. She confronted me the next morning at work. I'll admit, I was kind of surprised since I was merely a listener. I could tell that she was upset, so I listened until she got finished. Then I told her that I was sorry about the misunderstanding, but that I was not the one inquiring. I couldn't understand why he would go back and lie about the conversation I wanted to confront him, but instead I asked the other co-worker about the conversation and she said I should have told the lady that she was the one asking personal questions. Then I started reading about how to resolve conflict, and one of the positions of NIV is to be an empathetic listener. I believe I did that in the onset of the disagreement. The next step I took was to wait a couple of days, then I brought her a card that gave her praise, while also expressing sympathy about her recent loss. When she got the card, she phoned my office and was very appreciative, and expressed that she was not angry but that she couldn't understand why someone would get all in her business like that. After she finished, I simply said, people will be people, and that I really don't have time to strategies about her problems because I have some of my own that needed attending too. Based on this weeks assignment I understand that part of defusing an argument or confrontation is to be an emphatic listener. Respect the person for their feelings and views about the situation, because it might not be that situation that has them upset. A good listener will allow the person to vent without verbally attacking them back. Another way to prevent conflict is by implementing the 3 R's when involved in conversations, respect, responsive, and reciprocal behavior. It is o.k. to disagree, but respect the person's opinions, while also being responsive in a respectful manner. Finding a way to resole the conflict in a way that emulates respect toward the person and their feelings will lead to a more peaceful solution to the problem. Yelling is not the answer.

As a Communitor

This week's assignment lead me to explore and find out how people viewed me as a communicator. One things that surprised me was that myfamily members said that I don't think before I say things that may hurt others feelings. If I think it, I say it. This surprised me, because I thought I was a careing individual. I thought it was o.k. to relax when communicating with family. Now I'll have to reconsider my communication skills with them. The second surprize was with my co-worker, she said that I talk with my eyes and if I don't like something, or even if I'm having a bad day, she can look at me and tell. I found out that she could read my moods through my fascial expressions without even saying any words.

In our resources we read about self-concept and self esteem. These two terms play a major part in my ability to communicate effectively. Self-efficacy describes how I'm able to deal with stress & failure in my live. In my readings I discovered that  depending on the situation, my communication skills differ because I have built up a defense machanizm to strike out before being hurt. Mainly because my self esteem must be low.

Learning about my self-concept and how people are able to read me by my facial expressions has caused me to think about my communication skills and my opinion of myself. Understanding that people can tell what I'm thinking without talking will affect the way I'm able to communicate with families and co-workers. I've also found out that it's not o.k. to say what I feel without considering the feelings of others in both my professional and personal life. In order to succeed, I must be able to sell myself as well as my opinions. I believe that being an effective communicator is one of the major areas I must work on for my future succdess.

situation

Communication & Diversity

Considering my family structure, colleagues, community, and neighborhood, I find myself adjusting to the situation. With family and friends, I can be who I am even with my flaws. When communicating with colleagues and people from the workplace, I tend to be more professional in my delivery. Not that I am two different people, but in the workplace, I want to be professional and mindful of what I say and how my body language contributes to my message.

While being careing of what you say and how you say it, people may still receive a different message that the one you intended. I had a conversation with one of the custodians, and a colleague. I didn't think anythng about the conversation, but the custodian went home and told his girl friend that I was asking her personal business. It was not I who asked but my colleague. I don't know if my body language or facial expressions gave a different response, but my mouth did not. One strategy that I will use from that encounter, is to avoid sitting in areas where people discuss their personal business.

When I conversate with my family, I just say what I feel without any reservations. On a job the situation is different. I must be mindful because children, families, and other professionals may be impacted by what and how I express myself. I have some diversity in my family in regards to culture, race, religion, political affiliations and sexual orientations. Some strategies I could use would include, better listening skills,  avoid stereotyping, and working on any perceptual barriers that I might have that will prevent me from being an effective communicator with my diverse family and working environment.

Communication Observance of Grey's Anatomy

The television show that I watched was Grey’s Anatomy. I have never watched this show so I am not familiar with the characters or the plot.

This episode opened with a plane that had crashed. I looked like people who were co-workers from a hospital. Their facial expressions were that of fear, anxiety, surprise and then happiness. Watching the episode without sound caused me to assume they were looking for other people who were traveling with them, but were unaccounted for after the plane racked. It seemed like their voices could have been raised as if calling for someone. I also saw a look of discuss, from one of the victims toward the pilot, as he was talking to her.

After watching the episode with volume, I found out that two of the women were sisters, and one of them had a husband that was also traveling with them on the plane, but had not been found. One of the ladies had gotten her arm broke but was assisting the others who were injured.  The expression that I saw on the Chinese girl’s face as the pilot addressed her, was one of discuss. He was complaining while other people were more severely injured and needed some assistance. One of the passengers lost her sister, but her husband appeared out of the wreckage.

Based on my observation during total silence, I could have been more correct and even able to name everyone if it had been a show that I watched and was familiar with the characters. My “aha” moment came when I found out the some of the passengers were related. Their facial expressions and movements of the body let me know that they were experiencing fear, anxiety, and pain. I could also sense a slight moment of disgusts at the pilot, which turned out to be valid. Another “Aha” moment was when I found out that they people on the plane crash were interns and doctors.

From watching this episode, I learned that facial expressions are somewhat readable, and that even a person who may be deaf can sense fear in a person’s eyes. I also learned that you can tell if someone is hurt by their body movement as well. What you can’t tell from looking is if the people are related, when no fiscal contact is seen.

Communicating Effectively

It's interesting to be discussing communication on a week when the democratic party is stating the forum, and nominating President Obama to represent their party. But I choose former president Bill Clinton as a person who I feel knows how to communicate effectively. As I watch former president Clinton deliver his speak, the first thing that I noticed was his smile, that facial expression. I also listened to his words, but I also watched his body language. His movements and his words, seemed to capture the  attention of the audience. He also talked about ventures that he had undertaken which made his delivery more credible. I would definitely have to say that being knowledgeable about the content matter is a plus, when addressing a crowd of people.

As a person who attends church and sometimes being given an opportunity to speak, I understand how important it is to be informed about the issues you will be discussing.
I would like to model some of his behavior in order to become a competent communicator, buy being knowledgeable, poised, confident when I'm placed in front of an ordience.  That winning smile, helps to ease the fears of the audience. I just think he did a marvelace job with his speech delivery. This is not intended to start a denomination debate, but to merely point out his characteristics, and communication delivery.

Dare to Dream

Working with families from diverse backgrounds is a certainty, especially if you are in an area were growth is present. As an early childhood professional one of my hopes and desires is to be an effective entity in the lives of children, and to be able to communicate with the families of the children regardless of the backgrounds, religious affiliations, ethnics, or social standings. People are people regardless of our differences.

As for my goal, I want to educate the children by making a difference in their lives one at a time. As I think about the early childhood field and the issues of diversity, equity, and social justice I want to help the children and families understand that not everyone holds the same views and desires and that I may not have all the answers but when we work with one another we can accomplish anything. I desire to be given an opportunity to make a difference in their lives. Diversity is prevalent, and people from all over the world are wanting to enter the United States with hopes, dreams, and desires of a better life, and diversity is here. Diversity is real and so is equity, diversity and social justice. We must learn to live with diversity and thrive in spite of our differences.

To my fellow colleagues, I wish each of you the best in our future endeavors, and I look forward to communicating, and collaborating with you in our future classes. Thank you all for your comments, participation, and continued cooperation. It has really been amazing. Good Luck! 

Welcoming Families from different cultures

Each time I'm giving the assignment to include diversity about families around the world it seems to devaste me because of my lack of knowledge about the families origin.  Through this course I have been enlightened about diversity and the difference between surface culture and deep culture. To truely learn and understand diversity and the origin of the family I choose I will have to explore deep culture.

The family that I choose origin has rootes from Chilie. In order to understand and make them feel welcom in my classroom I will have to learn about their language. This can be done through research and collaboration from fellow practitioners. I will also have to understand their family bonds and relationships with extended family members. I can read about this, but the best examples will come from watching them interact with each other. While home visits are rarely done, I will visit the community where they live to observe their interactions and roles. I will have to understand their values. The role of children within their culture. I need to know whether they value education, and desire their children to have access to educational opportunities. To me, it is important to understand if the parent's understand how important and valuable a good education can be for the child. Even though the parents may not speak the language, can I help them understand the value of learning.

As a practitioner, I understand the value of an education. By  learning about the diversity of the families that I will be servicing, it will enable to center activities, and the learning environment around things that will help them feel culturally accepted and be able to embrace. Going to a new environment is overwhelming within itself, having things put in place to show that you are at least willing to learn and accept them helps ease the culture shock that comes along with diversity and migration.