Thursday, October 4, 2012

Managing Conflict

Recently I had a conflict with a colleague. The conflict was about a conversation that was held about her recent lost due to a house fire. Her fiance was in our area discussing the situation. I came in on the discussion,ut for some reason he went home and told her that I was inquiring about her personal business. She confronted me the next morning at work. I'll admit, I was kind of surprised since I was merely a listener. I could tell that she was upset, so I listened until she got finished. Then I told her that I was sorry about the misunderstanding, but that I was not the one inquiring. I couldn't understand why he would go back and lie about the conversation I wanted to confront him, but instead I asked the other co-worker about the conversation and she said I should have told the lady that she was the one asking personal questions. Then I started reading about how to resolve conflict, and one of the positions of NIV is to be an empathetic listener. I believe I did that in the onset of the disagreement. The next step I took was to wait a couple of days, then I brought her a card that gave her praise, while also expressing sympathy about her recent loss. When she got the card, she phoned my office and was very appreciative, and expressed that she was not angry but that she couldn't understand why someone would get all in her business like that. After she finished, I simply said, people will be people, and that I really don't have time to strategies about her problems because I have some of my own that needed attending too. Based on this weeks assignment I understand that part of defusing an argument or confrontation is to be an emphatic listener. Respect the person for their feelings and views about the situation, because it might not be that situation that has them upset. A good listener will allow the person to vent without verbally attacking them back. Another way to prevent conflict is by implementing the 3 R's when involved in conversations, respect, responsive, and reciprocal behavior. It is o.k. to disagree, but respect the person's opinions, while also being responsive in a respectful manner. Finding a way to resole the conflict in a way that emulates respect toward the person and their feelings will lead to a more peaceful solution to the problem. Yelling is not the answer.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

As a Communitor

This week's assignment lead me to explore and find out how people viewed me as a communicator. One things that surprised me was that myfamily members said that I don't think before I say things that may hurt others feelings. If I think it, I say it. This surprised me, because I thought I was a careing individual. I thought it was o.k. to relax when communicating with family. Now I'll have to reconsider my communication skills with them. The second surprize was with my co-worker, she said that I talk with my eyes and if I don't like something, or even if I'm having a bad day, she can look at me and tell. I found out that she could read my moods through my fascial expressions without even saying any words.

In our resources we read about self-concept and self esteem. These two terms play a major part in my ability to communicate effectively. Self-efficacy describes how I'm able to deal with stress & failure in my live. In my readings I discovered that  depending on the situation, my communication skills differ because I have built up a defense machanizm to strike out before being hurt. Mainly because my self esteem must be low.

Learning about my self-concept and how people are able to read me by my facial expressions has caused me to think about my communication skills and my opinion of myself. Understanding that people can tell what I'm thinking without talking will affect the way I'm able to communicate with families and co-workers. I've also found out that it's not o.k. to say what I feel without considering the feelings of others in both my professional and personal life. In order to succeed, I must be able to sell myself as well as my opinions. I believe that being an effective communicator is one of the major areas I must work on for my future succdess.

situation