Managing Conflict

Recently I had a conflict with a colleague. The conflict was about a conversation that was held about her recent lost due to a house fire. Her fiance was in our area discussing the situation. I came in on the discussion,ut for some reason he went home and told her that I was inquiring about her personal business. She confronted me the next morning at work. I'll admit, I was kind of surprised since I was merely a listener. I could tell that she was upset, so I listened until she got finished. Then I told her that I was sorry about the misunderstanding, but that I was not the one inquiring. I couldn't understand why he would go back and lie about the conversation I wanted to confront him, but instead I asked the other co-worker about the conversation and she said I should have told the lady that she was the one asking personal questions. Then I started reading about how to resolve conflict, and one of the positions of NIV is to be an empathetic listener. I believe I did that in the onset of the disagreement. The next step I took was to wait a couple of days, then I brought her a card that gave her praise, while also expressing sympathy about her recent loss. When she got the card, she phoned my office and was very appreciative, and expressed that she was not angry but that she couldn't understand why someone would get all in her business like that. After she finished, I simply said, people will be people, and that I really don't have time to strategies about her problems because I have some of my own that needed attending too. Based on this weeks assignment I understand that part of defusing an argument or confrontation is to be an emphatic listener. Respect the person for their feelings and views about the situation, because it might not be that situation that has them upset. A good listener will allow the person to vent without verbally attacking them back. Another way to prevent conflict is by implementing the 3 R's when involved in conversations, respect, responsive, and reciprocal behavior. It is o.k. to disagree, but respect the person's opinions, while also being responsive in a respectful manner. Finding a way to resole the conflict in a way that emulates respect toward the person and their feelings will lead to a more peaceful solution to the problem. Yelling is not the answer.